Bears and Iowans Don't Mix

A few years back, I remodeled the kitchen for Cabin #8.  I basically ripped everything out and started from the inside, ground up.  Grandpa Frank had  all sorts of strange things happening under the floor as I understand this particular room was part of a generator shack years ago.   I tore out the old brick chimney that was held up by 50 year-old lumber that was sagging something fierce and making the roof leak at the flashings.  It used to serve the wood range and then the wood/gas kitchen combo range and then it just sat empty as the years morphed into modern amenities including various all gas ranges.  Way back in the early 80's we added a microwave and that was considered incredibly modern.  We were fascinated by them as well.  Heating up sandwiches and making soggy bread was so cool!   So, that kitchen saw a lot of different appliances come and go.  It really needed some updating.

In our experience as lifetime operators of a family resort in Minnesota, I would be lying if I didn't say we've all seen our share of ridiculously dumb things.  Like last summer, a bunch of guys took a relatively new Weber (they ain't cheap no more) Kettle and built a very large wood fire in it, destroying the moving parts and most likely shortening its life span by several seasons. 

We have fire places that are available to all of our guests in two spots at the resort.  One is by the waterfall, the other by the beach.  We're thinking of adding a few more, but frankly, the judgement used by about 10% of our guests makes me a little nervous.  This isn't our first rodeo with ridiculous fires and no exit strategy by the fire-operator.  

We witnessed  guests who thought nothing to haul their personal, oily, half-empty, outboard gas can into the cabin and set it down on the carpeting. Nothing says potential  "boom" like lighting up a cigarette in a cabin next to your own half empty gas can.  Do they do that at HOME?  The lawn tracker needs an oil change - park it in the living room so they can watch TV while they work?

And, then there are those who have fish to clean.  We have a fish cleaning house.  It's nothing fancy but it does the job.  Curt keeps it clean and there is newspaper and fillet boards to use.  Lay out some newspaper, fillet your fish, roll up the entrails and place them in the garbage.  Go to the docks, do a quick preliminary wash of one's fillets in the lake and head back to the cabin.  90% of our guests have been doing this forever.   The other 10% however, simply must go into their cabin and clean their fish.  We don't approve, but they don't always seem to care.  What is really annoying is the cutting up of our counter tops.  Cabin 8's old counter top was sliced and diced to death.

When it came time to put in a new counter top, I decided to go with something a lot more durable since using the cutting board (RIGHT THERE on the counter top) doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to some folks.  I built a concrete counter.   I found a book, used a bunch of different things for pouring concrete along with a red coloring and did something really new.  It worked out pretty slick and it is built like an unusually, durable, red counter top.  Many of our new guests will come after checking in to ask what that counter is made of because it is different.  And, to round out it's use, it also had knife marks in it after the very second party checked out of Cabin 8 with the newly remodeled kitchen.  I'm hoping they used their own knife for that, because that counter is a true edge-remover.  I put charcoal gray slate tile as the backsplash and now the counter looks like the rock for which our lake was named:  Jasper.  Jasper is a red rock.  Red Rock is a store in the wilderness on Jasper Lake right next to Northwind Lodge.  So many dots to connect, but it finally should all make sense.

Along with the nuclear counter top, I added a back door to Cabin 8.  It never had one and it was now time.  Due to weather/temp constraints that constantly cause us trouble here in the north country, the project experienced delays.  Plus, there where the unknowns like building a concrete counter top and dealing with the varied floor with concrete footings and various other surprises.  Annette, my wife, was getting really nervous and cracking the whip on me.  Guests were due in a few days and the #8 kitchen had that "freshly bombed look".  Needless to say, the pressure was on and it still takes time for curing glue, drying varnish, and a lot of cabinet work all while they needed me at the store for various other issues as well.  So, I literally did a lot of running back and forth from Cabin 8 to the store. My neighbor came and helped out as well.

I installed the new outer door with the window and screen and tested it.  When I pulled it shut, it clicked.  When I pushed on it, it  held.  What more could one want?   I wrapped up my work on the cabin and used the Bobcat to haul away a sea of tools that we put on a flatbed truck and hid out of sight to be covered with a big tarp.  The housekeepers went in, and the party arrived about 3 hours later to stay the week.  Annette was furious with me for cutting it so close - as if I had any control over that - but she got over it.  The cabin rented all summer with our perennial guests enjoying the new kitchen.

The next year, we had a family from Iowa in Cabin 8.  On a Tuesday morning, while by herself -everybody was out fishing on Wood Lake for the day- the mom of the family was outside when a large bear casually walked by her.  She came over to the store to tell me.  She said, Joe.  I just saw a bear."

I said, "Oh.  Was it a big bear?"

"Yes, about 3 feet tall at the shoulder" she said.

"Did he get your garbage can?" I asked.

"No, he just walked by and went in the woods and disappeared!"

I said, "Oh."

Then, she looked at me as though I needed to say more.  So I said, "Well, cool.  You got to see a wild bear."

After looking around the store, she proceeded out the door and back to Cabin 8.

The next night was "Campfire Night" at Northwind Lodge.  That's where the lodge guests gather to watch their little kids get sticky with marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers at the fire I build next to the waterfall.  I tell stories and many bulls are shot among our guests.   It's usually a fun evening with a high turnout of lodge guests every Wednesday night.

While everybody was shooting bulls this Wednesday,evening, through all the voices I heard the lady from Iowa telling another cabin guest that she "saw a bear yesterday, and when she told Joe about it - he didn't get excited or even upset."  She sounded a little miffed.

I was tempted to interject the fact that my whole family grew up with bears and whenever one just kindly passes through the yard, we're good with that.  Apparently, my nonchalant attitude was not the right response.  I just kept quiet.  Everybody was fine.  Bear was gone.

Thursday passed by and at 8 AM sharp on Friday morning, the Iowans where at the store wanting to check out.  I said, "Really? Today's supposed to be a really nice day and you are scheduled to check out tomorrow. "

They said they understood, but needed to get home to get caught up on chores before Monday comes around.  They gave me the key, said goodbye and drove out the yard.

On Saturday, I was heading down to the beach and noticed the one year old door that I installed on Cabin 8.   The screen on the door was pulled down brutally from the top and kind of wrinkled up like an accordion's bellows.  The first thing through my brain is is "What the....!"

I go up to look at it and upon closer observation, I saw that it was one, sharp pointy thing that ran down the middle of the upper glass, hooked the top of the screen and collapsed the rectangular aluminum tubing that makes the screen frame.  It was nearly torn in two.  A mere mortal, would not be able to do that without a screwdriver or something.   For some strange reason, I pushed hard on the door.  It swung open right into the kitchen.  Note that I pushed hard on the door, but never touched the knob.

Here's what I figured  happened.  That bear came back and stood on the back deck and wandered up next to the door to look into the kitchen.  After all, that nice lady from Iowa was there.  The bear took his paw and dragged down the glass, perhaps to say "Hi" but most likely to test that clear thing that was blocking him from entering the kitchen.  With the strength of ten men in the blink of an eye, he destroyed that window screen. In his test, the door that had been held closed for over a year just by the magnetic draft seals and not the door latch popped right open.  I suspect that there may have been Iowans cooking at the time of his door test.  When they witnessed a large bear - the same bear that Joe "wasn't even concerned about" - push their door open in the great northwoods on Jasper Lake, well, let's just say that a sleepless night most likely ensued.  That would also explain how they were all ready to go at 8 AM and didn't spend a lot of time at check out.  They were outta here!

I checked the door latch.  It was off about an 3/32 of an inch.  The seal magnets made a nice clean click every time it closed.  I fixed it in about 2 minutes with a Dremel drill.  The bear is going to have to really push hard from now on.

The Iowans never came back.  All I can sheepishly say is "Ooooops!"

Whaddya gonna do!

Visit Northwind Lodge's Website Here